Maybe, baby

First, some things about me:

I’m bad at sleeping
I’m prone to depression
I’d like to have babies

Now then… This article from Wednesday’s Graun caught my attention. I found it kind of heart-warming but also kind of scary.

Sleeping is def related to psyche things for me. Insomnia can make me manic, and my response to depression is to take to my bed and stay there for as much time as possible.

Onto babies… I’ve been thinking about sprogging for a while now, and will probably do so in the next few years. I’m really excited about being pregnant, perhaps because it was such a positive experience for my mum, but I’m terrified that the sleep disturbance will send me potty.

At the moment, if I miss too much sleep it’s usually because I’ve been over-indulging in something unhealthy, which loads my tiredness with defensive guilt.

The reason I feel guilty is because I don’t think I can perform my life perfectly if I don’t feel perfect. What I’m working on now is not needing everything to be perfect – I think this is something I really need to get a handle on before I embrace motherhood.

The bottom line is that I’m a likely candidate for post-natal depression, but the good thing is that I’ve already discussed this with my partner and thought it through lots, so even if I can’t stop it happening, I can be prepared.

A great thing about my life now is that I have pretty good support systems, internal and external, in place. Jonty is a big part of that and understands it pretty well, so hopefully our baby won’t have a mother that’s *too* insane!


1 Comment»

  eD wrote @

I think you’d be a great mum, if that helps. Any kid would be seriously lucky to have you guys as parents… it’s just a shame it take 18 years for it to get that.

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