Archive for July, 2008

Who watches the watchmen?

I really want to be excited by Watchmen but I don’t trust Snyder not to fuck it up.

Advertisements

Struggling for sense

A lot of things feel weird at the moment. A recent ‘to-do’ list included “Find a good shrink” and I’m pretty much decided that this is something I’m going to do.

I’m not massively wrong right now, but I’m certainly not right and I think talking to someone who knows about not-rightness could be good.

Talking with J at the weekend, he described me as “psychologically abnormal” at the moment (compared with myself on other days, not cf other people), and asked whether I thought I was depressed.

My instinct was no, because depression for me usually manifests as apathy, anger and nihilism. However, I have been feeling a certain ennui, along with frustration, irritability and a real distance from the world, so maybe…

Another thing from my ‘to-do’ list: host vodka-tasting party, with caviar. w00t!

Join-the-dots journalism

There is a bit of a ‘State of the web/new media’ article forming in my head, but I am too tired and hungover to write it.

The story starts with Dr Horrible and then probably says something about streaming content and free internet-based telly. Maybe a bit of “I heart Joss Whedon” fan-girl-ish-ness for good measure.

Something about Whedon being at the helm when the internet finally does for pre-scheduled tv, and then I’d move into the structure of his writing. Talk a little about accumulated knowledge across series (Twin Peaks?), and finish with a little Everything bad is good for you dumbing-up polemic.

Would probably need to bring the dumbing-up back to new and exciting ways of disseminating media, to make the piece a little more robust, but there you go. Online reportage at its laziest.

Role reversal and colliding lives

Strangely, since I have been obsessing about one night stands, and going on about feeling guilty about it (cos I just got married, I should be obsessing about my husband, right?), lots of people who are usually all “Poly-what, that’s just wrong?!” are suddenly reassuring me that this is perfectly normal and fine.

I can only conclude that it’s not the extra-curricular sex that offends people, but the fact that I don’t apologise for my lifestyle.

But if normal life is just my life with extra guilt and less sex (like a bad Catholic school) then I’ll stick with my version.

Interesting blog…

http://chinabounder.blogspot.com/

Sex and social commentary from Shanghai. And a lot of death threats.

Listening

I drank a lot of wine for a Monday. I guess I drank a lot of wine for any night.

I went out with a client and talked about work. Then I went out with some colleagues and talked about work. Then I went out with another colleague and talked about people at work.

When someone asks you how you are, you say fine.

You don’t tell them that you’re worried about how much time you spend thinking about fucking people you shouldn’t, you don’t mention how fascinated you have become with the fact that you’re going to die, and you keep quiet about how, if you didn’t think you’d be diagnosed with depression, you would spend days and days lying in bed, making up stories about the characters in your head.

That shit’s not what people want to hear.

Communication

This is something that I used to be bad at, so when I failed to communicate and then got frustrated because my needs weren’t psychically met, the responsibility always came back to me.

This made me think that fixing up my communication skillz would fix up my frustrations, ‘cept now I’m learning that the responsibility isn’t just with me. Sometimes saying “I need x, y and z” isn’t enough.

Where does that leave me?