Sunday afternoon in the pub

To roughly quote a friend, 300 certainly wasn’t genre-defining in terms of comic book movies, but its production processes were pretty pioneering (alliteration, the English disease).

The main thing this makes me think of is CGI porn. Just imagine what fantastic 300-esque stuff the porn industry could create if it were prepared to flash a bit of cash (and knew how to spend it, The Fashionistas is shot on 35mm with an expensive soundtrack and still manages to be the dullest fetish flick I’ve seen).

I’m already picturing fairies, dragons, space monsters, ooh, zero-gravity (and tentacles, natch), and that’s just for my debut movie. Plus there are endless possible settings and backdrdops, costumes and so on.

CGI also opens up the possibility of exploring realms that are illegal with real performers – bestiality, paedophilia, necrophilia – which raises a whole slew of interesting moral questions.

Would watching a digitally-rendered kid-flick make someone more likely to search out kids IRL, or fuel the production of real paedophilia movies? Although once CGI is noticeably faster and cheaper than live action the second part of the question would probably become academic, and I’m yet to meet anyone who plays GTA who’s killed a call girl.

Watchable CGI porn is clearly still a long way off though. A quick web search (I’m so gonna get sacked!) reveals that so far the genre has offered up terrible limb-flailing hentai (which takes the hand-drawn movies backwards if anything) and Priceless Films.

I think the guys at Priceless have the right idea, and their characters look good, but the animation is a long way from getting me (anyone?) hot.

Until the dawn of decent CGI porn, there is always Ice Age

Until the dawn of decent CGI porn, there is always Ice Age

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