Aphorisms are trite. Sometimes they’re condescending. But… I’ve wanted to respond to these great poly/jealousy thoughts of Breena’s since she wrote them

It seems that all lifestyles [monogamy, polyamory, &tc] seem to attest that by adhering to the principles, they won’t suffer from jealousy, infidelity etc. Of course, this is futile, because monogamy won’t protect you from the green-eyed monster, nor will polyamory guarantee that your partner won’t cheat on you

(sensing a theme lately?). This was where I ended up.

My first attempt turned into the garbled post about choice and strategy, and the second became the post below, about jealousy in a broader setting than open relationships. This time I came up with a bulleted list of aphorisms, so aphorisms it is.

• Your partner wanting to sleep with someone else doesn’t mean they love you less

You hear this a lot in open relationships, in my limited experience usually fairly truthfully. People tend not to expound the reverse so much:

• Forbidding your partner from sleeping with anyone else won’t make them love you more

And finally:

• Your sense of worth has to come from yourself. Defining your worth according to other people’s actions is setting yourself up for a fall.



  Breena wrote @

I’m really enjoying these posts at the moment; thoughtful and well written.

  elle wrote @

I guess Ms Easton really inspired me!

Coming soon: Selfish-bitch-ism – the flip side of a highly internal sense of worth.

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