Back against the wall

Hah! So when I said “coming soon” in the post below, I clearly meant “coming in a month or so, if poor health and over-work don’t do for me first”.

Have spent most of my time in the office lately (was pondering yesterday whether it is more depressing to eat toast and marmite for three meals a day, or to eat three meals a day at my desk). Failing that I’ve been sleeping or hanging around hospitals (preferably in draughty corridors wearing backless gowns).

Ordinarily this kind of behaviour sends me a little crazy, in a bad way – highly-strung, tearful, out-of-control feeling. But for some reason this time I’m still cheery. Manic, yes, but in a good, enjoying the adrenalin way.

Still thought last night’s dreams were a bit sketchy though. They were long and complicated, but only two bits stood out a while after waking:

•Spilling big grains of sea salt from a tightly wrapped newspaper package onto my kitchen floor

•Admiring someone’s engagement ring. It had three stones in a rough clover shape, two enormous diamonds and a huge aquamarine. Experienced mixed feelings: jealousy, vulgarity, appreciation of aesthetic.

For some reason stones and salt seem pretty symbolic. Wonder if they are?

Anyway, normal service will resume at some point. Fuck knows when.

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