Pushing back the foreskin of knowledge

Incongruously, I think the title of this post comes from Judy Blume. It’s certainly a quote from a children’s book – I was young enough to be shocked when I read it.

A better title might have been ‘Sleeping with Thai hookers so you don’t have to’ but that wouldn’t have been truthful. The woman took our money and ran long before anyone got laid.

This took place last night in Phuket. I’m hard pressed to say quite what happened (a lot of tequila was involved earlier in the evening). There was nakedness and fooling around, an argument about money, lots of shouting (from J) and lots of over-acted fake tears (from her). Then she was gone.

At the time I defended her (shout to the sistahood), yelling something at J about never being able to understand sex from a female perspective – while knowing she was faking her distress.

Then this morning I felt disappointed. We’re nice people whose intentions were as honorable as exchanging money for sex ever can be – and we got royally hustled.

The scary thing is that among the disappointment there was a flash of anger. “If you aren’t going to give me what I’ve paid for I’ll take it to teach you a lesson.” This was not a nice thing to find myself thinking.

I’ve been trying to understand this in the context of other goods or services. If a check-out chick in Tesco took my money and refused to hand over my groceries I’d be more surprised than anything. I guess I’d talk to the manager.

It does happen with things like plumbers – you pay up then no one arrives to do the work. My parents got fleeced that way by a guy who was supposed to fit their kitchen. I think they chalked the lost cash down to experience. Did they fantasize violence – even for a moment? Would I?

Would it be more excusable to feel violent towards a plumber than a hooker, because no one has to mention rape (which I realize I was deliberately avoiding typing)? I dunno. I’m going to stop asking rhetorical questions now – it’s lazy writing. (You can tell how tired I am from the number of en-rules in this post.)

I don’t think I’m about to become a serial prostitute killer – I just wanted to acknowledge my capacity to think crappy things. Overall, while the experience wasn’t hugely positive, it’s one I’m glad I had.

I’ve never done anything remotely similar, and have always been slightly scared of the idea. This demystified the process, and until the shouting and tears it was a lot of fun. (The tequila included salt licked from nipples in the middle of a busy club.)

I think I would do it again, and would fortunately be less witless if I did. The main reason I was disappointed was that I was quite emotionally invested – the girl had been super-cute and funny, and given me a lot of attention. When she switched to business mode it burst my ego-bubble.

I’d be interested to repeat the experience just to see whether sex COULD be a transaction for me, or whether ego is always going to play a large role.

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[…] at 10:01 am · Filed under Bonking, Strange sexual encounters About eight months ago I nearly slept with a Thai hooker. It was an interesting experience and de-mystified things a little for me, but it was emotionally […]


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