Where now?

Revisiting the basics, cos I am doing a metric fuckton of processing right now.

Monogamy doesn’t prevent you from falling for someone else, or stop your partner from falling for someone else.

We’re in situations where we meet new people all the time. Monogamy may mean those situations aren’t acted upon, but it certainly doesn’t switch off the feelings they cause.

Meeting someone new often has nothing to do with the state of the current relationship.

Rather than deliberately looking to fall in love because things are bad at home, the universe throws amazing people into our lives when we least expect them. People in relationships don’t choose when to fall in love anymore than single people do.

If I were monogamous and my partner met someone else he chose to pursue, his options would be pretty bleak.

Do the ‘honourable’ thing and leave me, so he could explore the new relationship without lying or cheating – breaking up our family.

Do the commonplace thing and explore the new relationship in secret – in which case I could be going insane wondering where he was until 3.30am every other night and who he was spending so much time texting.

Makes me wonder how we got to a point where having an affair in more socially acceptable than having two partners with everyone’s informed consent?


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