Don’t kiss me, I’m all gross

Oh dear, this morning took a bit of a turn for the worse.

When I left you I was happily tapping away at gmail, when I started feeling a bit sick. This wasn’t that surprising, given the mini-bar nonsense, but it seemed prudent to pay up and go back to the room for a bit of a lie down.

As I stood up I felt worse, and then I heard a voice that was mine saying “I’m sorry I’ll have to sit down for a minute,” and the next thing I know two people are picking me up off the floor.

Actually, the next thing I knew was a bit more interesting than that. I was skipping euphorically through a meadow of really long grass, accompanied by several cartoon sheep. I can only assume this is some sort of automatically crisis-generated happy place, and it was very trippy indeed.

As I came round my brain started asking a few sensible exoteric questions – why am I face down on the floor, where am I, who are these people picking me up? – but it also snuck in two strange esoteric ones, namely “what is time?” and “why am I corporeal being?” It was actually quite similar to when I munched through 30g of philosopher’s stones and spent 4 hours curled in a ball at the end of the bed.

I remember feeling really angry at the people helping me, for taking me away from the meadow, and as my brain reassambled the consensus reality that is life it obviosuly came as a bit of a shock as I was promptly sick. I also started sweating from every square milimetre of my body, and sweat like I have never swut before. My t-shirt was sticking to me in dripping folds, and there was liquid pooling in my shoes – sounds a bit funny, but it was such a stange sensation that it was quite scary.

I also realised about this time that I couldn’t see, which was strange as I def saw the lads picking me up – it was only after they sat me down that I lost my vision. Given the whole event played out over about 20 minutes, and I was probably only out cold for a few seconds, I must’ve been blind for about 10 minutes, which is a scarily long time.

I think the huge bump on my head probably explains the visual disturbance – I obviously hit the ground with a fair whack and I might have a bit of concussion (although frankly it’s hard to tell when I’m this hungover). Mind you, I’m due concussion this year as it runs on a two year cycle and I haven’t had a bout since I went boarding in early 05, so that’s fine.

Miraculously, I managed to walk to, and subsequently around, the Shanghai Museum. The walk there was pretty hard work but at least it stopped me going to sleep and lapsing into a coma. And before we went in I managed some tea and a club sandwich and after that I was even able to enjoy the musuem, so all fine really.

Went out to the old town this evening but it was a bit of a weird disney resort, with loads of old-style buildings rebuilt giant and fairy-lit by the government, cos actual old buildings don’t project the right image.

Jonty’s looking after me mum, I promise!!


1 Comment»

  Ouch « Cheese sammiches and sex wrote @

[…] I have had concussion every other year for close to a decade, but but but, the last episode was in Shanghai in November ‘07 (on schedule), so I’m not due another bout until at least January […]

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